shanghaiqiutian Live Tour Reflections
Always will be my favorite band
shanghaiqiutian, love you
I first discovered them through their live performance videos.
The recording quality below is mediocre, but the title is the best description there could be.
【shanghaiqiutian】When a Drummer Enters His Flow State [^bilibili]
The body is pure visualized flow, and the energy is an even richer symphony, vitality literally burning with fever, nothing but pure devotion.
All four limbs in motion, precise mastery of complex odd time signatures while simultaneously unleashing insanely dense energy output, scorching golden light pillars cast from behind, and this is a kind of glory.
Guitarist Wang Yi even knelt down during the climax to help drummer Lu Feiyan kick the bass drum. Everything was staggering, struck head-on by something immense and pure, and I was here to witness it.
After watching I knew I would fall in love with this band, i wanna be in the room where it happens.
What’s funny is, this was my most-played video of 2024, yet for me that year was precisely the opposite kind of period.
The wrestling match inside my head ultimately made me temporarily abandon my own pursuits. I didn’t know what I wanted, I had just grabbed a reluctant stopgap to pause the racing thoughts that wouldn’t stop.
Even worse luck, failed the gaokao[^gaokao], left home far behind, crossed 1000km to a school I’d never even heard of before.
Landing here and seeing the county-town-like surroundings, the cracked pavement on campus, roommates and classmates of worse character, the first month I regretted it endlessly. Why didn’t I stay in-province and apply to Fuzhou University, Should I retake the exam?
Hollow, going to class only disrupted my studying until my head ached; after class, aside from working through some Demidovich[^demidovich], there was only cheap dopamine to numb myself with. It’s not that I had no goals, I was just suspended in midair, and that somehow felt better.
But the good news is, at the start of 2025 I began to come alive again, facing these problems head-on.
Also as a place to pin my hopes on, I visited Catholic and Protestant churches, though honestly, curiosity probably played a bigger part here.
Truth be told, they also regrouped and started playing again in ‘24. This was their first tour, and I went to Chengdu to hear them on their reunion tour.
Postmodernism’s endless deconstruction and mockery have grown tiresome; it’s rare to find a band that truly loves music with such sincerity. As foreigners, they can peel back the veil of Chinese reserve and plainly proclaim love for your neighbor, freedom, and dignity — and in my favorite rock style.
It’s not just math rock; there’s also that self-reflective post-punk feeling and the sincerity of emo.
I have to say, I think this might be the best live show you can see in China. Their album studio versions are very restrained, but the live experience is completely different.
Tour Experience
I’ve been to two live tours in total, plus one special duo show with only Wang Yi and Lu Feiyan, called “One Night at Yuyintang” (I guess probably because they met at an open mic at Yuyintang).
You can witness crowd surfing, pogo, no stage, and improvised moments: Wang Yi jumped off the stage and lay flat in the crowd, and we passed him backward; everyone squatted down and jumped up together; the crowd swirled around the center…
Last year in Chengdu, at the front row barrier, I met a friend who loves math rock because I recognized the warm-up music was A Picture Of Her‘s album C, and he caught the guitar that was thrown down. We happily took a photo together.
Lyrics Appreciation: Black Flag
Even though this is a tour for the new album, everyone still loves the album Black Flag the most, and most of my fondness is for this one too. I don’t want to just talk empty words; you can tell from the lyrics:
“Thank You for Being Here”
Ideas are virtual / Only thank you for being here / Every page of the photo album / Eyes watching all
que cuestan menos que la bala que los mata
(The humble people are cheaper than the bullets that kill them)
“We Just Have Tonight”
And if we just have tonight / There is no more tomorrow
Let me show you my flaws / Just do know I feel your pain
I wish you could also feel mine / So I’m not alone
I had too many doubts / In times too many wars
I’m sure you know what I mean
I would love to say: I did it / I would love to say: I’m over
But I’m not(let’s celebrate we are alive) / We just have this moment / We just have tonight
Philosophical Reflections: Post-Postmodernism and Music
Actually, the source of my overall thinking comes from this jreg video:
📺 Post-Postmodernism (bilingual subtitles)
From the History of Ideas
In postmodernism, large public communities and objective truth are both shot dead. You can use reason to criticize everything, but stop with the long speeches — just feeling.
Music is the direct presentation of life’s fluctuations; when listening, the boundary between self and world disappears. There is passion, love, and something more transcendent within it.
Nietzsche and Music
One cannot help but think of Nietzsche. Since his era, he began saying there is no capital-T Truth, God is dead, and nihilism. And his dual identity as philosopher and musician makes him especially able to clarify this issue.
Here one can more fully approach his “irrationalist” philosophy, like Thus Spoke Zarathustra, a philosophical masterpiece written like poetry.
The Predicament of Postmodernism
Contemporary society has long tasted the bitter fruit of postmodern rational deconstruction:
- Everything is deconstructed
- The serious becomes ridiculous
- Meaning is lost
- The desert grows
- The soul slides toward thorough nihilism and cynicism
When we use words and logic to explain the world, we are already cutting and distorting it. Reason freezes flowing life into dry concepts.
“Without music, life would be a mistake.” — Nietzsche
Music as a Force of Integration
I love this kind of sincere and open sharing. How are the senses and music not a kind of mystical ritual? Sometimes irrational moments may be closer to the truth of existence than any logical deduction.
- Reason tends to deconstruct
- While music integrates everything
In music, contradiction, pain, and joy are unified into a rhythm of life. Life is not meant to be explained clearly, but to be lived.
The Three Metamorphoses
In the evolution from modern → postmodern → post-postmodern, that essay The Three Metamorphoses is remarkably similar:
From mockery → acceptance → maturity
Forgetting, a new beginning, a self-turning wheel, a sacred Yes
I should embrace this amor fati — knowing that life is a tragic repetition, yet still responding with the most passionate emotion. Everything is part of a great symphony.
Resonance with Game Texts
“Glory is a question; the moth always answers with yes.”
— The Book of Hours, Volume I“The world will forget, but the Bone White Dove will not.”
— The World Does Not Weep from Cultist Simulator
This is another game I really like; I love their texts. It just felt intuitively fitting, so I’m including it here.
Church Visits: Another Kind of Sincerity
Furthermore, speaking of the death of God, post-postmodernism, or metamodernism, I have similarly interesting experiences.
Origin
Around this time last year, I went to several churches in Chengdu and Chongqing. Actually, it was this Zhihu question that caught my attention.
At that time in university, I was essentially a shut-in:
- I didn’t like my roommates
- I didn’t participate in any social activities
- I could go more than a week without speaking, nearly aphasic
Additionally, when doing my daily rituals reading, I came across W.H. Auden (reference):
- I envied his disciplined life
- I also used supplements to boost my energy
- I also saw that he converted from the left wing to Christianity in middle age
This sparked my curiosity, and from then on I planned to explore churches.
Catholicism vs. Protestantism
I won’t talk about Catholicism’s theology of suffering — early Sunday morning mass, kneeling on the kneeler for a full hour listening to the priest read scripture and preach, and being told to beg for mercy and salvation, that you have original sin… It completely failed to resonate.
But in Protestant churches, there is enviable joy and peace:
- More kindness and smiles than I had seen all year in Chongqing
- Full of pride and sincerity
- Probably the idea that the saved should live a joyful, victorious, and abundant life
Actually, it’s more like:
- A grassroots mutual-aid organization
- A refuge for marginalized people
During worship, you can sing hymns with the organist and choir, and even the pastor’s sermons are very connected to daily life. At Chengdu’s Guangyin Church, I even heard the pastor praise the Chongqing mountain fire firefighters in a four-line regulated verse.
There are also:
- Fellowship gatherings (even a singles youth fellowship)
- Traditional arts classes: Chinese painting, calligraphy, hulusi
- All festival and operational expenses are publicly disclosed
- All deacons serve voluntarily
- They can even help fellow believers find jobs or provide loans…
My Reflections
The deeper I went, the more amazing it felt. Compared to the blindly faithful fools and manipulative clergy I expected to see in literary works — apart from inherited scriptures and hymns, where is God?
I think this is the fascinating part: the Holy Spirit is not in that Heavenly Father above, but in the bonds of mutual aid and love between people. And rather than faith, the church members are more pragmatically using this structure; the real teaching has become a doctrine of selfless, unconditional divine love.
In reality, I only visited various churches and didn’t deeply enter their specific lives, so the more profound and moving insights came from Zhihu:
True Stories
Story One
My mother was a devout Buddhist for half her life, but unfortunately later developed cancer. Because long-term strict vegetarianism caused malnutrition, her ability to tolerate chemotherapy was extremely low, leaving the doctors in a difficult position. During a break between treatments, she went to a certain temple as a volunteer and for meditation, but the attitude of the “high monk” there toward this cancer patient chilled her.
Later, during her second hospitalization, in the last few days before her death, a pair of Australian friends flew back to visit her and, in the hospital room, transformed her from a Buddhist into a Christian. Mother passed away just a few days after converting. My father and I felt that since she was now a Christian, we should arrange the funeral in the Christian way. Since no one in our family was religious, we contacted the local church through friends’ help.
Mother passed away in the early morning, and the next morning a large group of strangers came from all over the city, young and old, men and women. There were college students with backpacks and white-haired old ladies. Dozens of people lined up neatly in the mourning hall, singing hymns and praying for this “sister in the Lord” who had converted just a few days before. After the ceremony, they each quietly left. Not to mention payment or reimbursement for transportation, they didn’t even drink a glass of water. For several dozen minutes, they quietly appeared and quietly left, not disturbing anyone else at the scene.
Afterwards, many relatives and friends present said they were deeply moved. Although I myself remain without faith to this day, my heart is full of gratitude to these kind strangers.
Story Two
Here’s the thing: my grandmother was a Christian during her lifetime.
However, not a single person in the family explicitly supported her belief, because first, her group didn’t look like any formal church; second, her emotional fluctuations during home worship were frightening (a bit like cursing and swearing); third, an elderly woman over seventy going out every day regardless of wind or rain raised safety concerns.
Later she fell ill, unable to straighten her back all day, in so much pain she couldn’t sleep, with a tumor growing in her spine. At first it was the size of an egg; when it was surgically removed, it filled most of a curved tray, and the wound on her back never healed until the day she died.
Her church friends came to see her spontaneously, not just to visit. They cared for my grandmother like their own parents, helping wipe her body, turn her over, and change her diapers. For our family, who was on the verge of collapse at the time, this was like sending charcoal in snowy weather. (It’s not that no one in our family was caring for her, but you can understand that caring for your mother and grandmother who was wailing day and night, sometimes comatose, with pain at every touch, while these church friends quietly and gently accompanied her, was a great comfort and help.)
Now our whole family agrees that these Christians are a group of great people, and we thank them.
[^gaokao]: The gaokao ( is China’s national college entrance examination, a grueling 2, day test that single-handedly determines which university you attend. Failing to get a good score can mean ending up at a school you’d never considered, as was the case for me.
[^bilibili]: Bilibili (B, is China’s leading video platform for anime, gaming, and creative content, often compared to a hybrid of YouTube and NicoNico, famous for its bullet comments that scroll across videos.
[^demidovich]: Demidovich ( refers to B.P. Demidovich’s Problems in Mathematical Analysis, a legendary Soviet-era problem book infamous among Chinese STEM students for its sheer volume of brutal calculus exercises, the mathematical equivalent of running stairs with a weighted vest.